Monday, May 30, 2016

Monday Goals

I did pretty well this past week on all my goals. I conquered almost every one of them, except sewing. This week, I have three days off and I hope to set up my sewing machine so I'm encouraged to start sewing. But I also really need some stuffing. I'm gonna have to see if mom can bring me some in a couple of weeks when she comes to visit!

This week was rough. I switched to 12a-8a shifts but my body didn't. I don't know why, either. I fucking love third shift. The major bummer is that I don't have any sort of living room, so I can't go hide out on the couch and watch movies or whatever to try to fall asleep. I have folding chairs and half of a double bed. So if I move around a lot, I wake Adam. I'm considering getting some sweet action going on my bedroom floor, so that I have the freedom to toss and turn and watch movies and read and whatever, without bugging Adam. I should just go down to the state park with a sleeping bag and crash on the grass! It's been a bit rough.

I still don't have a ton of goals, though I need to update my 101 Things list this week. I am slowly working through organizing my music collection (deleting a bunch of stuff) and organizing my hard drives. But I don't want to upgrade them to list status yet!

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This Week's Goals
Run every day
Hit my mileage goal
Do some yoga
Maintain new IG for yoga
Go on some bike rides
Do a massive amount of sewing on Wednesday
Get internet shit together because Netflix marathons

Unrelated : I'm so fucking tired of people saying stuff like, "I'm sorry this offended you." First of all, no you're not. Clearly. Secondly, take some fucking responsibility for the shit you say and the shit you post. Stop acting like someone having a different opinion or point of view means they have a fucking problem. Instead, think about what the fuck you say and work harder to recognize when you're not adding necessary contributions...or at least just own the fact that you don't give a fuck and you say and do what you want with no concern to anything other than your own desires.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Alternative to Framing

Let me tell you all about how I ordered some things that would be delivered to work, which they were. And one package was put behind the front desk and NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT. So TWELVE DAYS passed and I was calling the freight dock and checking the tracking and finally went into the Post Office where they were like, "See, your boss signed for it and took it with her?" And then I came back to work and I found out that the package was sitting there, minding its business, waiting for me. So then I stopped freaking out...except maybe a little more freaking out is deserved because NEW RUNNING SHOES!!!!!. The end.

A long ass time ago, I discovered Adam had these awesome posters from Romania, framed up all wrong. You see, they are a different size from U.S. posters because metric system. So he had them in frames with space around them. This would not do. I took them to a large, chain, craft store to see about framing and it would've been HUNDREDS of dollars! Maybe that's ok with your budget, but not mine. So I decided to use scrapbooking adhesives and foam board to non-frame them. Total cost : under $20. They look awesome. Here's how I did it :

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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Fat Tuesdays : Saggy Boobs

***Warning*** There are BOOBS in this post. Just sayin'. Nakedness! Watch out!

Not too long ago, I came across a post in a Facebook group that supported women who don't want to wear bras. In this post were some pretty outlandish ideas about how not wearing a bra actually makes your breasts PERKIER. It was nonsense, honestly. However, after I did some research, I realized that lots and lots and lots of people actually perpetuate this nonsense as well as some other such nonsense. So let me add my voice to the din regarding bras and saggy boobs!

First, we have to start at the beginning, which is with the very idea of saggy boobs being a solvable medical condition. I know, it's crazy right? Here's a picture of your medical issue...unless you have "normal" breasts. I certainly don't!

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That's the start of the problem; the idea that "saggy breasts" is a medical condition. It's not. Boobs come in all shapes and sizes and that "normal" breast is actually just a B cup or smaller. The problem is, for whatever reason, we've evolved into a society that says that "normal" is small and perky and "abnormal" is large and saggy. People will try to sell you on fixing your breasts when they don't need fixed.

If you look around the interwebs at images of breasts, they all show this "normal" breast, which could make someone like me feel abnormal. (Luckily, I don't feel that way.)

This idea that saggy boobs are a medical condition means that there has to be reasons for your saggy boobs. It's not ok to say, "Big boobs sag because gravity." Instead, they have to come up with issues like smoking and BMI (so unscientific) and babies create this problem. That's not true. Small boobs sag less because gravity. There is less weight to them, so the supportive structures in boobs, which is really only the skin, can hold up their small weight. Breast feeding can make them less perky, that's true. The structure of boobs change when they are used for breast feeding. Age isn't really going to make tiny boobs super saggy because there isn't enough in them to make them sag over time.

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Normal boobs are different!

The post I read focused on how not wearing a bra can make your boobs perkier, which isn't true. But if you look around the internet, this is a hot topic. People think that wearing a bra makes your Cooper's ligaments less tight and therefore, causes sagging and that not wearing a bra forces your ligaments to work and help keep your breasts perky. This misunderstands exactly what ligaments do.

Ligaments are not muscles. Ligaments cannot be flexed or stretched or "worked out". They are connective tissue. They crisscross areas to support and to stabilize. They don't have tone and they have a limited blood supply, because they are meant to stay in place. Just do their job. They don't regenerate well (or at all) because of the limited blood supply. What I'm saying is, you can't have lazy tendons that don't do their jobs because their only job is to grow into place and be there, stabilizing shit. They can't change over time, because they don't have a blood supply that allows them too. Nevertheless, this idea that breasts can be improved in some manner, outside of unnatural options, seems to pervade the internet. It's all myths, though.

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The truth of the matter is, a bra will make your breasts appear perkier and more full. That's just truth. When you take that bra off, will your boobs magically float in the same space? Absolutely not. Bras are support mechanisms designed to hold up boobs. Underwires work to support larger breasts and to hold them up. Straps help with this as well. A large band, supportive underwire, and large straps are going to hoist your boobs up to that round, perky model that society presents as the ideal. When you take that bra off, you boobs are going to droop slightly. Some women with small breasts wear bras because it appears to give them cleavage, helps their boobs look bigger, and covers the nipples. No one is writing articles about how not wearing a bra makes small boobs larger. Because that shit is nonsense! So is the idea that not wearing a bra makes "saggy" boobs perkier. It doesn't work that way. Anatomy and physics, people.

Do what you want, honestly. I could care less if you have fake boobs, real boobs, super perky boobs, saggy flappy boobs. None of it matters. But don't buy into bullshit that ignores common sense. No amount of smoking is going to significantly alter the shape of your boobs, though extreme weight gain or weight loss will. OBVIOUSLY. No smoker ever had altered hips, but someone who gained a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight did! Genetics? Certainly. Your mom's boobs or your grandma's boobs or your aunt's boobs (or your dad's boobs) are probably going to resemble whatever the hell your boobs might do. I mean, duh. Other than that, size is really the main factor...and saggy boobs are normal, not a medical condition.

So wear a big, padded, supportive bra and look like you have big, perky, full boobs...or don't! Whatever you want to do is fine. Just don't believe that taking off a man-made contraption designed to lift your boobs is going to make your natural biology change. It's not.

Monday, May 23, 2016

The Goals

It's been a weird few weeks for me. I'm on the island, but the season isn't fully open, so I've been leaving a lot. Also, I've had to leave for health things and wedding things, so I feel like I'm not fully on the island yet. But that'll happen soon enough. I've still got schoolwork and craft work and I have been getting some of those things done...as well as hitting my marathon mileage. It's just steady going, gearing up for some time by the pool as summer rolls in.

I do have a new goal to add to each weekly post : changes in my diet. Nope, I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm just trying to kick some bad habits of literally LIVING on chips, soda, and candy bars. So I've narrowed it down to three goals for the summer : eat only fruit for breakfast, give up soda, cut back on sweets. But have you ever started something and feel good but look back and wonder if you're really accomplishing things? Like I don't buy soda to keep at home anymore, but I do grab one whenever we're out. So is that really accomplishing my goal? So I've decided to start writing here and to get my mom in on the accountability act. My goal is one dessert per week, no soda, and fruit for breakfast. Dessert can happen on any day I choose, but just one...and hopefully a good one! My reward for following my goals is that weekly dessert AND if mom and I both reach our goals by July 20th...stay consistent, then we're going jet skiing!!! So I'm gonna write about it here too because JET SKIING!!!

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My boobs were having a moment at the wedding.

This Week's Goals
Run every day
Hit my mileage goal
Do some yoga
Maintain new IG for yoga
Go on some bike rides
Do a massive amount of sewing on Wednesday
Get internet shit together because Netflix marathons
Get those final projects done!

Friday, May 20, 2016

Dirt Cheap Wedding

I want to post my budget here because it's important to see that you can have a cheap wedding (and not because all your friends are wedding vendors). At several points during the wedding planning, I went over the budget and SLASHED THE SHIT OUT OF IT! I did not want to spend a fortune on this motherfucker, so I didn't.

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Shit I did:


Photography : I just could not justify paying for something I could do myself. All of the photography you see was created by me. I used a tripod and set that shit up on my own...OR I set the settings, composed everything, and had someone else push the button. I know not everyone can afford to do their own photography, but most of you probably can. However, I didn't want twelve thousand photos either. It's a preference thing, honestly. (free)

DJ : Set up my computer with a good playlist and didn't let anyone touch that shit. Shout out to Noah for bringing us a speaker. (free)

Bridesmaids : Bought their dresses and flowers and jewelry. Mostly kept the dresses under $20ea. except for one. Firing two bridesmaids upped the cost a bit. ($125)

Invitations : E-mailed those suckas!!! (free)

Flowers : Traded some housekeeping for flowers made out of recycled plastic bottles. Shout out to smART studio akron (free)

Some menu items : Made a SMORGASBORD of delicious vegan, veggie, and gluten free items for my guests! ($100)

Soda and beverages : Arranged for 96 bottles from NORKA Soda at their distributor price of $1 each. Bought sweet tea and lemonade from the grocery store for non-soda drinking guests. FORGOT to pick up non-sugar drinks. Received $20 from one bridesmaid to offset cost. (One bridesmaid made the necklaces, so didn't ask for $$ from her, one bridesmaid never paid up and I didn't want to track that shit down.) Thanks to Kendra for helping with beverages! ($100)

Pizza : We decided on Emidio's pizza in North Hill in Akron. Bought two sheet pizzas and three extra large pizzas which were all delivered to the venue. Total includes tip! ($120)

Dessert : I decided to order from Anne's Pastry for the desserts I didn't make. Donuts and cookies! ($40)

Tattoo : I place this under "wedding clothes" because I really, really, really wanted the tattoo to fill in some empty space for photos. It looked awesome. (Jesse Strother is the best!) I was always going to get this tattoo as a reward for completing college stuff, so I'm going to put 50% of it on the total wedding bill. ($350)

Hair : A good friend of mine did my pretty, pretty hair. I paid him $50, but he gave it back. (Now, if only I could find that envelope!) (free)

Rings : It took a lot of searching but we finally found a custom jeweler in Ohio who made us our beautiful rings. It was important to me to use conflict-free materials for our rings, which is hard to do when looking for claddaghs. Lots of jewelers don't make them and a handful of jewelers make them at a very high cost. Luckily for us, I saw Kristin Ellis at a craft show and she was equal to the task. We're so happy with our rings! ($500)

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Shit Adam did:

Officiant : Adam had a friend who is VERY good. I think Adam thought he'd do it for free, but I insisted that EVERYONE gets paid. He does actually have a regular going rate, but he was cool with our budget. (I would've paid him his full rate, if necessary. I'm not trying to nickel and dime people who helped my wedding happen.) However, we wrote the ceremony from an old ceremony Adam likes and some readings I like. ($100)

License Because legal. ($50)

Venue : I'll say it again as I've ALWAYS said it; GET MARRIED IN A PARK! NO, you can't have booze (which will double your budget anyway) but also, no decorations needed and shit is cheap! We could've been there from 10a-10p if we had wanted. We chose the Ledges Shelter in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park! ($110)

Wedding Dress : I just happened to spot my in the window of Atomic Bombshells when I was in Omaha. Adam paid for it because I hadn't anticipated finding a dress while in Omaha. I mean, I wasn't even shopping!!! ($130)

Custom suit : Adam always wanted a bespoke suit and we found a great place in Akron that made his for a super great price. We cannot say enough good things about Cindy and Justus at Savile Lane in Akron. They respected our budget and gave Adam a beautiful suit!!! ($800)

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Other Shit :


Utensils and table cloths : It was important to me not to create trash, if possible. Mom and I collected vintage sheets for tablecloths at the wedding, plates from the thrift store, and bought silverware instead of using plastic. We did have to hit up the dollar store for plastic cups and bowls, which we donated to Goodwill after the wedding (as well as returning unused plates and utensils). We bought some paper plates because we thought we wouldn't have enough plates, but we did have enough in the end. We did buy paper napkins. I still feel good about not producing a ton of trash. We filled one garbage can and that's it. ($120)

We received help along the way. We received some cash from family members that really made this all come together in the end. Without the help, we might've had to cut other things. Most especially, the cash came right as I was having my tattoo done and we were super broke. Without that help, I wouldn't have been able to have the tattoo which I think brought my entire vision together. Thank you to those family members who gave us cash! (We also used the cash to buy cat food, which meant mom didn't have to float us for the cat food and therefore, we weren't in debt to her at the time of the wedding.)

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Wedding Grand Total : 2645.00

When you consider the average cost of weddings, our wedding was super cheap. But some people might think $2600.00 is too much for a party, and I wouldn't be able to argue with them very much. Adam and I really wanted to look nice, so our clothing definitely put us over the top. If my bridesmaids had bought their own shit and if my plan to make my dress worked out and if I didn't want a tattoo and if Adam had worn something he already owned (which would've looked very nice), we could've cut our wedding budget almost in half. $1600.00 for a wedding is really, really, really cheap...but we splurged where we wanted and I am really fucking happy to have thrown a wedding for well under $5000.00 and even under $3000.00. We can use the money we would've spent on our wedding doing something even more fun than a party, like traveling to Europe!!!

Most of the stuff that people spend money on for a wedding is just unnecessary. And trust me when I tell you that all the gifts and presents and centerpieces and flowers end up in the trash. I can't see spending money on garbage. The park gave us a beautiful backdrop, not that I ever would've paid for centerpieces anyway. If I could've justified spending money on live music, I might have, but I really liked that I put it together myself. Some halls are pretty damn ugly and I appreciate the light shows djs provide, but an old stone shelter in a park had enough beauty on its own. Wedding dresses are ridiculously overpriced, and I suggest checking out prom sites and quinceañera site for less expensive white dresses. Food is almost always overprice too when you consider that Chipotle (my first choice until I decided to keep slashing the budget) and Boston Market as well as other food chains will cater anything, including a wedding.

The bottom line is : weddings cost a ton because we allow them too, and I just wasn't interested in that.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Wedding Story

I've been thinking about the wedding for several days and about how I want to tackle writing my story. I know I will submit my wedding to HiFi Weddings, a site dedicated to music and weddings. I believe that is as far as I will go. I've considered sending it to other websites, but I don't want to. I believe I have a lot to say and I could converse about this forever, but I really hate those bitches. I went back to some wedding websites and was just annoyed with them all over again. It's best I stay away. Instead, I've decided to dedicate this entire post to all of my thoughts and feelings that I have processed since the wedding. It is time to put this fucker to bed, but first, a disclaimer :

I try not to use this blog to air my dirty laundry when I'm still going through the drama with the people involved. You may notice that I never write about fights I have with my mom. That's because I don't think this blog is a place to bitch about people who read the blog and possibly hurt their feelings. Obviously, I'm not afraid to talk about what I've experienced, but only when I feel the issue is resolved. Though this blog often makes me seem like a crazy bitch who runs around screaming at people to fuck off, the reality is that everything takes time, lots of deliberation, and most often, a good, hearty dose of, "let that shit go". However, regarding my wedding, I will talk about the behaviors of some of those in attendance. If you read this and realize it pertains to you and would like to discuss it, I invite you to e-mail me or message me. My aim is not to hurt feelings but simply to write about mine. If I have not talked to you about these feelings it is because I believe they are my problem and not ours. Understand that while you are in my life, my blog is always about me.

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I know that I made it clear over and over again that I did not give a shit about this wedding. I made Adam feel guilty for the drama I experienced because he felt he was forcing me to do something I didn't want to do. That was not the case. The situation was that I was compromising and trying to create a wedding that meant a lot to him and still satisfied me. In the end, I accomplished that. However, getting to that point was A LOT of cultural bullshit that fell largely on my shoulders. The entire world expecting me to give a fuck and I just didn't. That was hard for me. But I felt it was important to be vocal about my feelings because otherwise everyone just goes on assuming weddings are for women and are some magical time that every girl really, really, really, really wants. I had to speak up and speak out to let the world know that some women don't give a shit. This impacted Adam, but we communicated on the regular and I assured him that I needed to be vocal about my dissatisfaction so that the world would know there are other opinions out there. In the end, we both had an understanding and we both had a good time.

Planning the wedding was surprising for me. I honestly believed there would be no drama. I knew I wouldn't suffer from indecision or pressure. When I realized I could not (and would not) afford my fave photographer who is also a friend, I simply e-mailed her that the budget was too tight and I couldn't make it happen. When I realized I still didn't want to pay for my best friend to photograph the wedding, I just e-mailed her and told her what was up...and then promoted her to Matron of Honor in place of my original Maid of Honor who had to be fired. When a few of my bridesmaids behaved in a way that dissolved our friendships, I just fired them and picked someone else. When I realized I really, really, really didn't want to pay for some things, I just cut the budget. Then I cut it again. I delegated jobs. I knew I could do this, and I was fine with it. What I didn't expect was extremely selfish and shitty family members, being ghosted by a bridesmaid, and feeling like my officiant didn't understand I was an individual and not the status quo. This lead to really rough days and lots of confusion and the dissolution of several relationships, including some friends whom I realize were far less invested in me than I was in them. It was surprising and it hurt. The myth of weddings being a big ball of love came down on me in some deeply painful and life altering ways.

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My girls' hair pieces were made by The Busy Beader and their necklaces by Paige Cherico

I realize now that I was incredibly naive about what other people think my wedding is. Most people think my wedding is somehow their wedding. And that's jut not true. Most people take for granted that they can ignore me, never invite me out, ghost me, let me down, and otherwise treat me in a way that is unacceptable to me and somehow still receive an invitation to my wedding. But fuck that. The number of people I invited was triple the number of people who attended, and I have to say that I'm totally ok with that...now. It took some time to get here, but I'm happy with where I am.

What I didn't expect when it came to the actual wedding was how fucking annoying some people would be. And this is where I insert my rant about how "being helpful" isn't always helpful. What I wanted to do, leading up to my wedding, was cook delicious food. I wanted to set up and to photograph my dessert table. I wanted to photograph my own wedding. I managed to do almost all of that. However, the day before my wedding was everyone getting in my face and in my kitchen and asking if I needed help. But that's a lie. It was really just one friend who stayed with me. And I KNOW she was trying "to be helpful". I understand that. But the reality is that she took away some of the joy I was experiencing by getting in my way.

I recognize that people will read that paragraph and think I'm an asshole. Our culture teaches us that "being helpful" is the best thing a person can do. I would argue that WANTING to be helpful is a great place to be, but forcing your help on others is not ok. Help should be consensual and if someone says, "no," let them fucking be. Don't keep asking. Don't get in their way. Don't take jobs out of their hands because you've decided you're being helpful. And whatever you do, don't go into their bag and take their wedding license out and take care of it because you've decided you're being helpful. That's not helpful. Because of this help, I don't have photos of my dessert table, which I didn't get to set up, because someone else did and someone else photographed it.

Now I know, I know, you think I'm a loudmouthed asshole who should've put her foot down and done her own thing. Oftentimes, I am that girl. But there is the great remainder of the time when I still bow to cultural expectations and remain reserved (ish) and polite. Where I feel like it's my job to please others before I please myself. Where I have been taught that saying, "Quit trying to fucking help me, it's being incredibly unhelpful," is rude and hurtful and I shouldn't do it. For this reason, I didn't kick people out of my kitchen and I didn't reshoot my dessert table and I didn't shove people out of the way when they were trying to lend a hand. And so, I'm mad AT MYSELF for not standing up for what I wanted and for missing five photos I really wanted to take.

_MG_6594 My dress from Atomic Bombshell in Omaha : Adam's suit from Savile Lane in Akron, OH

There were two other surprising things that happened at my wedding. One was incredibly hurtful and has changed the course of my behavior in my interpersonal relationships. The other was just a surprise.

Some of my "friends" prioritized other things over me. Some of my friends had family in town and booked every second that was not already set aside for my wedding events. Y'all, I didn't have a lot of them. Some people promised to be there and then weren't. Some people were hired to do things and showed up late and without all the stuff necessary for the task. Some people went to work and came to the wedding late. Some people left early for other things. All of this hurt me very deeply.

I am incredibly sensitive. I spend most of my days analyzing how I feel about the people in my life and what they are saying or doing to me. I ponder for great lengths of time those Pinterest memes about how the people in your life make up who you are. When it came to my wedding, I heard a lot of noise about how great and loving it would be. But no one said that someone might die a few days before your wedding and someone who you thought would be there would leave early to go to that funeral and it would hurt you in a way that you felt was socially unacceptable. No one says that a "friend" who happily received heavily discounted wedding photography from you would elect not to attend though she was in town. And also a million tiny other things that happened that day. It's hard for me to talk about these things because I feel like I'm not supposed to talk about them. But I greatly desire to address the feelings I had based on the actions of others. If for no other reason than I don't like to hold shit in. This is my forum to talk about it, but also because feelings are ok. It is ok to admit that someone hurt your feelings and to talk about why and then to let that shit go.

Adam and I didn't really do much together on our wedding day. He got ready in our house while I was getting ready. He drove separately and handled other setting up tasks from what I was doing. We posed for photos. We got married. We danced (which was fun) and then we did our own things. For about a split second, I felt guilty about this. But really, this is how we knew it would be. Adam and I do us when we're alone together. We don't really do us in public settings...largely because I'm a very private person. I like to have my special time with any of my friends or family in a one-on-on environment. Also, though Adam and I have integrated many of our friendships, we also still have separate friends who like to do different things, so that's what we did at our wedding.

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What did I like about our wedding? Ummm...that it's over! <---That's only slightly sarcastic.

The truth is, I dealt with a lot of disappointment, hurt, and frustration the entire time leading up to the wedding and during the wedding. When it finally came time for me to enjoy my own wedding, I turned up the music, tuned out everyone, and I danced. Anyone who wanted to dance with me was welcome to the dance floor. Anyone who wanted to go be somewhere else could do so without me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that almost everyone I love had a song in my playlist that suited them. I danced with my sister-in-law to two songs, which I did not expect. Two of my friends who, apparently, aren't big dancers, each found at least one song that spoke to them deeply enough that they appeared on the dance floor with me. Some of my friends who were not dancing were dragged, bodily, by me, to the dance floor for some Taylor Swift Shake It Off, and that was fun. I had an unexpected cumbia. I had several fun dances with my mom. I lead some pretty awful blues and balboa with a swing dancing friend. I also learned that, when he wants to, Adam can cut a fucking rug. My dance party was basically the most amazing thing ever.

I cooked food that my friends loved. I have friends with dietary needs and I really wanted to make food for them. I like to cook. I especially like to provide for those who are usually left out. So when one of my friends with pretty serious diet needs was able to grab "a big plate" and fill it with food, I was so totally happy. I also know that everyone else enjoyed the Norka Soda I had for the event, the Emidio's Pizza from Akron, and the amazing donuts from Anne's Pastry. I know that people really enjoyed the food which made me so happy. I wanted to pick food that represented what Adam and I love and I was so glad to see that my guests enjoyed it.

IMG_9927 Our rings were custom made in Ohio by Kristin Ellis

I read a lot in wedding blogs about being "surrounded by love". I really can't tell you that I felt that. As I said, I was having a lot of feelings, some decidedly un-loving. I was focusing on not being an asshole all day, because people hate that shit. I wanted everyone to enjoy the party as they chose, and I think that happened. I know people went out and enjoyed the park, which my uncle said was more impressive than he expected. I have been to weddings where I really felt the love, but that's not what happened at my wedding. I think I threw a damn good party. I know people really enjoyed Adam's dad playing for the ceremony. I know they enjoyed the food and some of them enjoyed the music. I know Adam had a good time with his friends. I know that I did feel lots of happiness. All of that is ok with me. I didn't need my wedding to be some overwhelming love fest or "best day ever". I just needed it to be the successful party that it was.

I was happy to see that many of my friends and many of Adam's friends have become our friends. I like that. It feels good. I saw some of my family members interact with Adam's family members. I thought that was cool. I kicked the long weekend off along with Adam, watching the sunlight disappear from the sky over the lake and that was good enough for me. We were the last people to go, double checking to make sure the venue was clean and then we drove home together. That was the entirety of our alone time for the weekend, but I'm ok with that. We have forever to have alone time. I know Adam had a good time and I know I had a good time and really, that's all that ever mattered to me.