Monday, May 28, 2018

Baby Boy XI

Dear Baby Boy,

Nine months old today yesterday!

I'm feeling very guilty for not writing this on the ACTUAL DAY...but oh man, life!

About you : Talkin' up a storm. Many, many sounds. Whispering, breathy sounds and very loud sounds and murmury sounds. You also sing to yourself. I don't know what your songs mean. You sing to yourself when you're deep in play. It's very, very adorable. You LOVE to laugh and to play and to explore. You're particularly adept at climbing, which is awesome and also sometimes challenging. We have to keep you safe and you are determined at doing as much as possible! You push and pull your toys around, because you are so strong. You've been cruising for a while and you've even stood on your own for a few seconds!

You are so bright and interesting and curious and fun and it's so awesome to watch you grow.

I really do love you very much and I'm so excited about this time in your life, except for one thing...

You are OBSESSED with putting everything in your mouth! Boy, you have to stop! You're driving all of us crazy! I feel like we have to have constant eyes on you!

But mostly, you're just fun and delightful.

You met my friend, Theresa, and you went to your first concert - Emily Keener. You met your Uncle Matt and Aunt Becky and you cried when Uncle Matt held you. It's mostly because we don't get out and about as much as some babies. That's ok. There is plenty of time for that. We did go to the mall to try out the tot lot, but it's a bit too big for you.

Life is an adventure and as the weather warms up, I think we're going to have many more.

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Hey Mama,

ALMOST there! You almost have your apartment ready to go, there are just a few more things to get settled. It's VERY frustrating. You almost have the garden in shape, but you need a few more plants. It's VERY frustrating. You're right on the edge of the next steps and it's kinda overwhelming.

Baby Boy is delightful, as usual...and so smart and curious and athletic...you can take credit for that. You're doing a bang up job.

As for everything else - just don't feel guilty. If you feel like you have to let someone else down to take care of yourself, then you're not really letting someone else down. You HAVE to take care of yourself and that is the bottom line. If you feel like you're falling behind on some things, don't stress. You have a lot on your plate and you're really conquering a lot of shit.

Worry less. You're on the right track.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Stasis

Ugh. STILL waiting on our apartment. I should be happy. It helps us in terms of money, but also I think I'm ready to get shit set up. I definitely didn't accomplish anything this week, but that's ok. I'm gonna get some shit done this week...I'm gonna knock some shit right up off my list!

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This week :

01. Run or walk, do some yoga (maybe)
02. Resize and save poster board photos
03. Photograph second G. project
04. Blog posts
07. Rip some more CDs
08. Post more albums to Facebook
09. Read to Babe
10. Figure out database questions
11. Put together letterman's shadow box
12. Frame and hang remaining artwork
13. Frame all that other stuff for those other people
14. Keep planner up to date
15. Make photo books for first three months
16. Finish digital back up
17. Edit ALL the photos and upload
18. Garden!!!

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Trying to get back in rhythm

In marching band, if you are out of step, you do a little half step to get back on step. This is my attempt at doing that to get this blog back in order. In less than a week, we should have our new apartment actually available to move in.

I need two things over there that we don't currently have : a dining room table set and baby gates. Mom ordered the baby gates via her Target card today, which is awesome. We don't have the cash up front, so we can pay her back over time. We had a plan for a dining room table, but I think it's fallen through...so we have to buy that. But since Adam JUST started his new job, we won't have money right as we're able to move in. I mean, we can move without the dining table. We can make it work. We can also borrow folding tables from mom for the time being.

So we're gonna move, but my house won't be totally set up for probably another couple of weeks. I am still looking forward to setting everything up, even if I have to wait a bit to really get it settled.

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This week :

01. Run or walk, do some yoga (maybe)
02. Resize and save poster board photos
03. Photograph second G. project
04. Blog posts
07. Rip some more CDs
08. Post more albums to Facebook
09. Read to Babe
10. Figure out database questions
11. Put together letterman's shadow box
12. Frame and hang remaining artwork
13. Frame all that other stuff for those other people
14. Keep planner up to date
15. Make photo books for first three months
16. Finish digital back up
17. Edit ALL the photos and upload

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Sitting in limbo

I'm feeling very meh lately. Our new apartment is getting closer and closer to finished every day, but it is still NOT finished. Adam has a new job, but he hasn't started YET. Our savings are basically gone, so we can't really do anything RIGHT NOW. (We have food and stuff, just no spending money.) The weather has warmed up, but it's still a week or two before I can BEGIN gardening. It's just all this limbo and I am one hundred percent unmotivated to DO ANYTHING.

BUT...

Then I looked at my last to do list post from a MONTH AGO and I realized I had actually done a lot of it. I don't know when or why, but I got motivated and finished some stuff. Which means the list I'm finally fucking posting today is going to be some NEW stuff. Don't get too excited, I'm sure I'll take forever to accomplish tasks.

I know I'm neglecting this blog, but I feel like I'm in limbo with everything and it makes it hard for me to accomplish anything. I don't like the uncertainty. I don't like the anticipation. I don't like feeling like things are going to be better soon, just not right now. It makes me freeze up and feel down. So I feel meh and I neglect this blog and a million other things I say I'm going to do. Bleh.

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This week :

01. Run, do some yoga
02. Resize and save poster board photos
03. Photograph second G. project
04. Blog posts
07. Rip some more CDs
08. Post more albums to Facebook
09. Read to Babe
10. Figure out database questions
11. Print family photo
12. Put together letterman's shadow box
13. Touch up bedroom paint
14. Frame and hang remaining artwork
15. Frame all that other stuff for those other people
16. Keep planner up to date
17. Make photo books for first three months
18. Finish digital back up - CONTINUED
19. Edit ALL the photos and upload - MOST OF THEM

Friday, April 27, 2018

Baby Boy X

Dear Baby Boy,

Eight months today!!!

You have become quite an interesting little person. You love to talk, going on and on with all kinda sounds and noises and shouting out your feelings. It's completely hilarious and I look forward to hearing your first word, whatever that might be and whenever that might be. You are pulling up and even cruising! It was a bit rough and we have covered the entire floor in foam. There were a couple of days when you fell over and bumped your head a handful of times and I was completely freaked out by it. But like everything so far, you have totally mastered pulling up and squatting and crawling and you even cruise a bit too.

Your current favorite toy is a small plastic box that I keep puppets in. You take it off the shelf, empty its contents, and proceed to push it around, climb on it, flip it over, swing it around...all sorts of things! You still play with all your other toys, but this one seems to have become the absolute most interesting thing you can get your hands on. You also have a sort of chair that allows you to stand and bounce...we use it for when we're eating dinner, so you don't come trying to take our food! You do love to bounce in it!

You've eaten some solid foods, but not that puree crap they call baby food. It's some ridiculousness and I'm not interested. So I've given you some smashed avocados and smashed bananas...and it's VERY messy and I don't really like it at all. I'm gonna keep giving you solids a couple times per week, but I'm not pressed.

The weather has warmed up so we take many a stroller excursion where you happily suck on your stroller straps the entire time. People come up to you and talk in bullshit high voices, asking you to smile, and I fucking love that you don't smile. You're clearly not a trained monkey, so keep sticking it to them. You do however love when I say in a deep and stern voice, "EXCUSE ME, SIR!" It's HILARIOUS! You've also met a few pupper dogs and just like the cats, they totally delight you.

You've got a couple more teeth buds that have cut through, and that was kinda a mess. Your gums even bled one night! We've also taken you to your first concert, but the applause scared you and made you cry, so we hung out in a room near the show. It was a very pleasant experiment and we hope to go to more concerts at the same venue throughout the summer. Also, you've discovered your genitals and enjoy touching them during diaper changes...you've also had your first erection. Even your penis is changing and developing!

Baby Boy, you are growing and changing and exploring and it is so fun to watch! You still make me laugh every day, but I am not so excited about your current desire to totally avoid diaper changes by rolling and pulling away. A few of them have come to tears and that's not cool. We have had to take a few driving naps when you just really, really, really did not want to go to sleep and we got tired of fighting you. But really, your fussiness is such a small part of your life and I still cannot complain. You are an absolute delight and you make everyone who meets you really happy and they go on about how adorable you are. It's true, you are very adorable. I don't know what is next or how fast it'll happen, but I'm loving every moment of watching you change and grow.

Te amo chiquito monstro.

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Hey Mama,

Well, things aren't going exactly as you had planned now are they? First the labor and delivery that was super awful, then unsuccessful breastfeeding, and now you're not even running. That marathon you had planned for June is definitely not happening because running or walking is sometimes too difficult when you're so tired. It's ok to let it go.

Let's talk about the annoying shit other people do, like constantly saying "how fast" Babe grows. Maybe it's real fucking fast for them, but it's most definitely not for you. Honestly, it could be because so many people work and you don't, but no matter what the reason, it's just fucking annoying. 'Cause of course, you reply with the truth, and of course, it makes you feel like an awkward asshole. Ugh! Anyway, just keep being truthful.

Also, people really need to get off your back about Babe and sickness...like, trying to tell you getting him out and around germs is "good" for his immune system. Unless bitches have a degree in immunology or pathology, they don't need to come at you with some other way of doing things. Babe will have plenty of time to get sick when he's not an infant and not in the danger zone for many communicable diseases that so many adults carry unknowingly, so you can just keep doing your thing and protecting that Babe.

I know life is kinda weird right now because a couple of big things are just about to happen. That waiting period is THE WORST. But really, when you think about it, life is pretty fucking good. You have an awesome family and a beautiful Babe and you are doing a great fucking job. Maybe this baby thing didn't go exactly as you had planned, but you have a bright, curious, athletic, super fucking happy baby and that is what really matters. And I know, I know that shit is still tough for you. I know that you are still just barely holding on. But honestly, you're doing a very good job of getting through it and things will get better...maybe not right away...but they will. Keep that faith in yourself girl, 'cause you're gonna make it through.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Ahead and behind and ahead and behind...

I was feeling really good about getting a ton of shit done recently. And now I just feel so fucking behind. I'm behind on posting my weekly to do list and I'm so behind on doing it. I feel like there is always SOMETHING to do and I'm always putting off SOMETHING. Bleh. I wanna feel caught up, you know?

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This week :

01. Run, do something upper body
02. Scan poster board photos and save on hard drives
03. Price frames for unframed artwork
04. Blog posts
05. Travel blog posts
06. Rip some more CDs
07. Post more albums to Facebook
08. Keep reading Moby Dick
09. Figure out database questions
10. Choose newborn photos and print
11. Put together shadow box
12. Touch up bedroom paint
13. Book Cincy trip
15. Frame artwork
16. Keep planner up to date
17. Make photo books for first three months
18. Finish digital back up
19. List all items to craigslist

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lil' Late

I'm a little behind...ON ALL THE THINGS. I told Adam that I NEEDED to take a day and go to the coffee shop and do digital organizing, because I just don't get it done at home. Oh man, was I right! I was so behind...still am. But I have finished a HUGE CHUNK of stuff today. I'm slightly annoyed because I can't stay all damn day, 'cause mom has a doctor's appointment. But I have tomorrow!!! So I'm probably gonna come back and WERK. It feels good to get a huge chunk of junk DONE!

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This week :

01. Run, do something upper body
02. Scan poster board photos and save on hard drives
03. Price frames for unframed artwork
04. Blog posts
05. Travel blog posts
06. Rip some more CDs
07. Post more albums to Facebook
08. Keep reading Moby Dick
09. Figure out database questions
10. Choose newborn photos and print
11. Put together shadow box
12. Touch up bedroom paint
13. Plan Cincy trip and budget
15. Hang artwork
16. Keep planner up to date
17. Make photo books for first three months
18. Finish digital back up
19. Get donation stuff OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!