Wednesday, August 7, 2013

061 : It's not hard.

Fenna Blue.

Fenna Ryerson Blue.

This is the name on my social security card and on my driver's license and will be on my passport when I renew it, but it is not on my birth certificate. And if you went to high school with me and you call me, "Molly," I will answer. But if you are a dumb bitch who had photographs taken by me eight fucking years ago and just had them taken again and I have SIGNED EVERY E-MAIL with my new, legal name, then you will call me by my new name.

I paid for it. I was finger printed for it. I filled out the paperwork and filed the change in court. I sat before a judge. I was awarded a letter. I went to the federal building and was given a letter by the federal government that this is my new name, and so I got my driver's license changed. Then the new social security card came. And now, everything about me is registered in my new name, because I took the months of work and going to the wrong office and then the right office and then the appointments and waited for the decision, and I paid the three hundred and one dollars (plus all the money to change my identification cards), and I PAID FOR MY NEW AND LEGAL NAME.

So no, you won't call me by my old name after four e-mail exchanges with my new name. And no, you won't call me "whatever your name is." My name is Fenna Ryerson Blue, Fenna Blue, Ms. Blue, Fenn...that is my name, and I changed it and I paid for it, and you will not disrespect me with your bullshit and call me something else.

But if you do, you can fuck off. I have the right to choose my identity, not you.

2 comments:

  1. This person is clearly not with your time. Your name is lovely Fenna!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! She actually referred to me as "whatever your name is". I really got the impression that the refusal to use my new name was more of a power struggle and control issue than anything else.

      But there is more to this. People need to respect someone's choice of identity. PERIOD. Whether it's because I legally changed my name or for any other reason anyone might choose to have a new or different identity. Refusing to acknowledge that is so disrespectful.

      Delete