Friday, August 9, 2013

063 : To the kid who stole my phone...

Dear Kid Who Stole My Phone,

Umm...congratulations? You now own a worthless piece of glass and metal. I mean, you know that my serial number has been recorded and no one can reactivate the phone ever, right? Also, once it's connected to the internet, it'll erase and lock itself. So, really you just cost me a massive inconvenience and a new Otter Case.

And the thing is, your dick move was such a fucking cliche. I mean, a young black man steals a phone from a young white woman. This is who you want to be? Way to perpetuate stereotypes.

I hope you got whatever you needed out of the situation. I don't mind closing down all my social networks and starting again. I won't miss anything but the few photos I hadn't downloaded to my computer. I'm not even going to lose any money on this deal. It's just...it's just stupid. I'm not rich, which you don't know...but you're not really any richer from this. And if they caught you on the camera and the cops find you, then this is just going to get you in more trouble than it's worth, you know.

So, good luck with my phone. I hope it provides for you whatever it is that you need right now.

-The Girl Whose Phone You Stole
(Right from my hand, in broad daylight.)

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