Monday, August 19, 2013

069 : How to ensure I won't even send you a message.

So, I'm on OKCupid. Mostly 'cause I lead a varied and distanced life and don't engage in a regular social circle in my immediate vicinity. Also because, as much as I love being single, I also think I might want companionship. I'm really trying to give it a go. I force myself to get on there every couple of weeks, tweak my profile, keep my images up to date, and message the fuck out of that place. Every couple of weeks, I send out five to ten messages, sometimes more depending on how creative I'm feeling. While I'm engaging in online dating, I'm learning so much! From awful first dates to friendships to one-line messages and so on...I find it all largely bizarre and awkward. The other day, I was kind of astounded at the number of profiles from guys who seem to give no fucks about their profile. Like, I just don't understand why you would have a profile that shows a clear lack of any effort. Maybe they're just on for the sex? Anyway, I took some screen shots, and here are a few profiles that turned me off so quickly...within the first few sentences of the first paragraph, there was an instant, "I am never going to message you, asshole." Here are the shots!

okcupid02
Umm...no dude, why don't you write an actual paragraph so I can decide if I feel like there's anything we have in common worth writing a message to you. Seriously, a couple more sentences, asshole.

okcupid03
Yeah buddy, you got that ALL WRONG.

okcupid04
I don't get this "nice guy" sell. I don't think there are only a few nice guys, and I don't believe you are one. I do believe you're probably not that smart. This is just...it's like he is making an effort, but he comes across so cliche and off the mark that I can't. Just be yourself and don't try to sell that "nice guy" thing because it isn't working.

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