Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My writing process : A blog tour

Steph recently wrote this post and then tagged Jessica who tagged me. (YAY!!!) Sooooo...the title seems weird to me, because isn't reading my blog a tour?!? Also, since I consider myself a visual artist before a writer, probably some of the visual art stuff will leak into this, making it more of a me tour. Whatevs. HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS!!! (It ain't short, y'all.)

1. What are you working on?

I'm, theoretically, in the process of building a portfolio for a new business venture involving painting. I got started and then life. Which is actually good, because it'll help me figure out how to price the product based on time. I've got a social media gig with a local Akron business. For the blog...just trying to keep it together. Trying to post multiple times each week. Trying to remember when and how to promote it. This new social media gig is actually going to help with that, and I need to buy a calendar like so many bloggers! I gotta schedule!

I also have a photography business and I'm trying to get better at the social media with that. And I have a stuffed animal business I share with my mom. We were just commissioned to do an entire nursery. I'm in charge of the mobile! And the diaper bag and baby slings. It's a really fun project. But I also want to get the social media for that in gear and get the Etsy shop together.

See, I'm more than just a blogger. I'm an all-kinda-arts girl. I'm kind of searching through doing. Because while I do enjoy my "day job," the thought of only ever doing art stuff is massively appealing to me. So I'm going to use this summer to get in gear!!!

Some of our stuffed animals

2. How does your work differ from others of its genre?

I would say my motto is, "I literally don't give a shit!" Like, oh, I pissed you off? Ok, go read something else. Oh, you wanna be an anonymous hater? Let me copy your comment and break it down in a scathing blog post. Oh, we're friends, but I disagree with you? Here, I'm gonna write out my feelings on the situation. Oh, I should be taking more selfies and not reposting my Instagram feed in my blog? Go fuck yourself. I do what I want.

Steph classifies my blog as a personal blog with no plans for monetary gain. That's partially true. I use this blog to write about me and I don't give a shit what anyone says about "good content" or "blogger etiquette". I refrain from the blogging social circle and networking almost entirely because blogs like, A Beautiful Mess, disgust me with their lack of realism. There's already too much pressure on women to fit inside a specific box determined by society. Then here we are, as bloggers, actually ruling the world of blogging, and we're putting ourselves in a box created by us! FUCK THAT! But I am considering the possibility of an audience and monetizing my blog. We'll see...

If this blog never does ever earn me money, it keeps me more sane and means I don't have to send an e-mail to everyone of my friends every time I have a personal epiphany. If anyone wants to know what's new in my life, they can come here. And strangers can go fuck themselves for all I care. If you don't like my shit, there is a ton of other actual crap to read. Get low quality, staring into a light bulb, same as everyone else, content by stats somewhere else. But if you come here and you like it, then we probably end up friends.

3. Why do you write what you do?

Way back the days of Livejournal. I used Diaryland. I was going through an extremely rough time in life. I was considering suicide every day. I was not eating right. I was going out to various sites to plan out my suicide. It was really dark for me. And so, I tried to talk about it with friends. Because I knew that sizing up buildings and making trips to cities with sky scrapers and finding out if I could gain roof access...well, that was probably not good. And before I actually did it, I had the presence of mind to look around the interwebs and find out what you were supposed to do when you had figured out exactly how you'd like to commit suicide but you just hadn't found the right location yet. All those sites said, "TALK TO SOMEONE." But I didn't want to call a hotline and tell a stranger my sob story. And I had friends who claimed they had struggled with depression and suicide or claimed to be my friends.

They all abandoned me and went so far as to call me crazy and I swear to God I have no idea why I never did just jump.

But something kept me from jumping. And even though I felt so alone, the most alone I had ever felt, and completely unloved and abandoned, I didn't commit suicide. But I found a diary of a girl who suffered from clinical depression. And then I found more diaries. And I kept reading them and realizing that somewhere, other women were going through what I was. If our lives weren't exactly the same, then our pain was very similar. So I opened up a diary and I started writing away my pain.

Oh, and it worked. It worked so well.

Eventually, I didn't need that diary to prevent me from committing suicide. Eventually, the topic turned to other things besides depression. Eventually, I was famous and had a writing group and a diary ring and I totally could've monetized that shit! But no one did that then. And eventually, all of my friends from that time (and there were so many good friends) let life take them away from writing. So my old diary died as did all of my readers. But some of the friendships stayed.

So, a while ago, I remembered that time. I remembered how good it felt to write and all the cool people I met, some of whom I met in real life. So, I came back. It took a while, but I finally found a good place. And I've deleted my blog a few times. But I like this place a lot. And I like that my friends can read about my life no matter where I am.

And now, it's another extension of me as an artist. I try out new ideas. I attempt to figure out how to build an audience and whatnot. I give up on that. I meet new bloggers. I feel better when I'm writing. Even if I'm just reposting my Instagrams. Any thread of writing feels good, and I know that when I'm not writing that much (especially if I'm going through a depressive period), that I'll get back to writing. Because writing makes me feel good.

Writing makes me feel kinda like this.
4. How does your writing process work?

HA! I wish I were dedicated, like Stephen King suggests in his book, On Writing, and carved out two hours a day to write. But I have NEVER successfully given myself time to do something daily. I wish I kept a notebook with me to jot down ideas. Sometimes, I remember to add a note into my phone. Sometimes, I remember to go through those notes. I wish I stuck to my weekly blog posts (like marathon training), but those things come and go depending on my schedule.

In reality, I go in fits and spurts. Sometimes, I remember to sit down for several hours on a Tuesday. I read all my fave blogs (and chase links). I open up new tabs to save posts I like. I copy those links into a new blog post and jot a quick idea. I write a bunch of blog posts at once. And then I go through my Flickr stream and open all the photos that I haven't posted in new tabs and I put together new posts. Then, I flesh them out over time, watching my drafts go from 25 down to 0 over the course of a few weeks, and I do the same thing over again. It's slapdash and haphazard, which is exactly how I take care of myself.

5. Tag 3 writers to answer these questions next.

No idea if they will do it, but Victoria, Heather, and Margaret.

Anyone else who reads this is WELCOME to answer the questions. I would LOVE to read your process! Just let me know if you do it, so I can try to remember to link you at some point!

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