Sunday, July 27, 2014

52 Weeks of Paleo : Week 5

Read past the paleo portion for a longer post about friendships...

I would say I'm getting better. I still wake up in the morning and want anything but paleo. I still work at festivals, surrounded by carnival food. I ate frozen custard and cotton candy (which was so gross) this week. But I've also gotten good at grabbing sweet potato fries or pulled pork with no bun or even packing paleo lunch and snack options.

The real problem is that I think of food all the time and I just want to eat all the time. I definitely need to work on reframing my own thoughts. Still a lot of work to do, but I'm also happy with the progress I've made.

In other news, I'm sharing a post on being a friend here. Try to get past the Christian gobbletygook and the intensely personal nature of the post and see the information about being an intentional friend. Because, I'm just gonna say it, you probably aren't one.

So often in my life, I'm on the other side of a convenience or one-sided relationship. I'm a giver, and I'm super loyal, so I often give and give and give until I have nothing and then I realize, that person was never really there. Even now, I have a handful of texts that "friends" have not bothered to reply to. Why? Because they can't spare ten seconds to confirm my new number? Because they can't take a minute to tell me about the funeral they had to attend recently? I don't know. But that shit is LAZY.

I'm going through a really difficult time right now with a relationship that is possibly one of the most important relationships I've ever had. I'm letting it go because I absolutely have to. It's gotten to the point where I have nothing left for myself. The relationship stopped being supportive a few months ago, and I patiently waited to see if maybe it was a temporary situation. But things came to a head recently, because I needed them to. I forced an issue I already knew the answer to, because I had been running on empty for so long. And now, I'm trying to wrap it up and let it go, while still holding out the hope that the other person will see how one-sided it has been and maybe, finally, place some value on what I bring to the table.

I'm speaking of an extreme situation, obviously. But think of all the texts you've left unreplied, the e-mails you've ignored, the Facebook events you've declined. Think of all the times you've initiated contact instead of having the friendship brought to you. Think of all the times you've said you're too busy with work or family or school. All of that adds up to being a convenience friend.

And the thing is, being a convenience friend is hurtful. "Losing touch" is hurtful. There is usually one person on the end of losing touch who stopped really valuing the other person. Being in a relationship, feeling undervalued, trust me, your friends know it. And that position sucks. So stop.

Take time to recognize the people in your life who are extending the hand of friendship and take the time to really value what that friendship is. Because honestly, it's something all of us could stand to work on.

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