Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Unedited

I came across a post called, The Edit, recently. It's from a blogger I used to follow regularly. I may have stopped following her when she took one of her many breaks, I'm not sure. But this post definitely solidifies why I have very little interest in her at all anymore. More recently, she wrote a similar post called, Character Cap, which has much the same idea as the first. In both of these posts she asserts that people edit themselves for social media, that there are topics no one wants to read about. There's an overall tone of being less important and wanting to hide her life away. This is a VERY common theme in blogs written by young women.

It's total bullshit.

The only one sitting around feeling like no one cares about what you're writing, is you. Hiding parts of our lives from social media and especially from blogging is just creating a life that's a lie. It's painting a picture that's not true. It's boring and insecure and stupid. There is a lack of true, quality blogs out there. There are so many bloggers who create myths of perfect lives, always smiling, delicious food, looking cute every second, never sick, never unhappy, exceptionally unreal.

This crap has go to stop.

This is my call for real bloggers writing about real life. Write about your good days and the beautiful things you do, but write about the bad days too. Admit you have problems and tell us how you handle them. Admit that you don't always look put together. Be truthful about your struggles as well as your accomplishments.

A friend of mine recently suggested that the blogging world is supersaturated and there is no room for anyone to gain a big, active audience and become popular. I think that's completely untrue. The blogging world is supersaturated with fake, insecure girls who are too busy editing every aspect of their life to create some type of "perfect" blog. It's just crap...and it's harmful to all the young women reading these blogs who can't compete with the lifestyles presented. These blogs are written by insecure girls who perpetuate insecurity among their readers.

This is dumb, because you are important. Your life is interesting. Nothing that you do is boring, even if it's sitting around in sweats all day. You have a unique perspective on the world. You have thoughts that are different from others. Your outlook is valuable, no matter where you are in life.

Blogs, the ones I'm talking about, started and gained popularity because young women liked reading about the lives of other young women and connecting with them. Editing out your life is a lie and it removes the genuine connection. The internet is a unique place where we can come together without the social constructs we experience outside of the internet, but creating an edited blog undermines the potential for connecting with some new in a really authentic way.

I'm tired of fake, edited blogs. I'm interested in you with all your flaws and imperfections. Let's create a new circle of unedited blogs written by confident women who recognize that everything that makes us different from each other is exactly what makes us interesting and makes our blogs so readable.

7 comments:

  1. This paragraph resonated with me "A friend of mine recently suggested that the blogging world is supersaturated and....their readers"... I see the point your friend is making but I am hoping you are correct. I don't know why we as young women feel we have to edit ourselves to make others like us. we should just love ourselves as we are. love this post! great perspective xx lovejoystyles.com

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    1. I think we're conditioned by our culture to be less than we are. But we should be outside those bounds when we're blogging! However, I definitely notice a LOT of older/more established bloggers contribute to this idea that we have to be less by engaging in self-depracating talk and sharing less. But we should be free of that and be open with each other!

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  2. Hi Fenna Blue,

    I came across this link and have to say that I agree with a lot of what you are saying, even though my blog is (unfortunately for me) used as a scapegoat for the purpose of your argument. What I do think is interesting is that my post, "The Edit" was actually written with the purpose of bringing attention to this “self-editing” epidemic that you talk about here. I’m acknowledging it from a sociological standpoint, and also acknowledging that my blog does, at times, fall into that societal beat.

    I think the important argument missing from this post is the fact that not all bloggers want to share the deeply personal details of their life online. My blog is a certain space to share style, inspiration, and bits of my world that people may or may not relate to. But, the majority of my personal life lives offline. And that is a very conscious decision I’ve made over my past 4 years of blogging.

    While I’m sorry to hear that I’ve lost you as a reader, I do hope you find what you’re looking for and continue to stay true to your own writing style. The blogging community could always use a few more raw, unedited voices.

    Best,
    Melina

    The Caffeinated Closet

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    1. Ok, well for starters, I didn't use you as a scapegoat which means "singly someone out for unmerited and negative blame". But actually, it's that kind of hyperbole that definitely affects your writing. Despite your assertion that the first post came from a sociological point of view, you frequently undermine and belittle yourself in your own writing. And the thing is, you don't have to write "deeply personal" details of your life. But you know, you already do. You introduce topics and then assert that no one wants to read about that, so you flit past your real life, dismissing yourself. It's painful to read, and I have read everyone of your posts. Why not simply leave out anything personal? There are definitely fashion bloggers out there committed only to fashion and nothing else, which isn't a lie. Your intermittent personal posts and your personal comments on your fashion posts all add up to you creating a persona that is not entirely real. It is a decision, and it's a poor one. Either be real or don't. But don't come around here calling yourself a scapegoat when you're not.

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  3. My favorite part:
    This is dumb, because you are important. Your life is interesting. Nothing that you do is boring, even if it's sitting around in sweats all day. You have a unique perspective on the world. You have thoughts that are different from others. Your outlook is valuable, no matter where you are in life.

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  4. Genuine sincere honesty can be a very brave thing, and many people are not so brave.

    But I agree with your post so much! Your blog is the only one that I semi-follow, but I have seen various posts on various blogs. All of the pretty things start to make me feel like, "How are you doing all of this?" One day this year while we were still living with GG, I went ahead and watched part of "Father of the Bride." I had seen it many times as a kid, but what drew me to it was the idea that the most significantly stressful part of someone's life could be that their daughter wants an elaborate wedding. It was just so...whimsical. Who has such a cushy life? I don't think anyone does. No one. But sometimes I've looked at people's blogs and thought, "HOW are they living such perfect lives?"

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