Tuesday, July 28, 2015

How NOT to blog

Since I already told you how to be an AMAZING blogger, I figure I may as well tell you how not to blog. There are a lot of trends in the blogging world, some far more annoying then others. They suck. If you do this shit, I basically think you're an asshole. Why would you want to be an asshole? Don't be an asshole.

1. Newsletters : I don't understand these. Are you a business or a blog? If you're a blog, isn't your blog a newsletter? Don't I choose to follow you because you have interesting things to say? Can't I subscribe to your RSS (or whatever) if I'd rather read you in my inbox?
--->The real deal : Newsletters were created by business peeps who wanted to get in your inbox. They know that if they are in your inbox, they'll stay there. They know the statistics on unsubscribing and reaching out and following leads and getting your fucking money. But if you're a blogger and not a business, then you're not interested in getting money from your readers, your interested in connecting with other human beings who are like-minded. So turn off the fucking newsletter, you douchebag.

2. Pop-up anything : Pop-ups are for assholes.

3. Anything anywhere in your blog that moves : This includes sidebar ads and IG feed thingies. THAT SHIT IS ANNOYING. I want to read your fucking blog not your sidebar. Remove anything that moves. You're not the news ticker thingy in Times Square, ok? You don't need distracting shit on your blog. Your words are the focus.

4. "Read More" links : Who started this shit? If I wanted to exercise my clicking finger, I'd go play Whack. Just let me read your fucking blog, ok? Enough with making me click-through.

5. And for that matter, why is there only one blog post on your main page? What if I missed a day, just put, like, five blog posts on one page, ok?

6. Updating once-a-week or less : Some asshole once told me that her readers don't want more than one blog post per week. She followed it up with some stupid platitude about "great content". (But you have already read my post about great content and know that your life is great content!) I don't know who the fuck these lazy ass readers are, but my readers want to read all my posts. I know, because we talk about them. I mean, I want to read a couple posts a week. You don't have to post daily like some psycho, although that's cool if it's your thing. You don't have to feel pressured to post a certain number of times a week. You don't have to have daily themes. But blogging is about having something to say. It's about YOU, you fabulous and interesting person. I just feel like you do more than one thing a week, right? Do you have more than one conversation per week? Do you send more than one e-mail or text per week? Good, then you can write a blog more than once a week.

7. White backgrounds : I don't like staring into a lightbulb, and neither do your eyes. Fucking stop with the white backgrounds and black text. Why are you trying to look like everyone else anyway?


Oh I know there are gonna be some haters out there who disagree, and I would venture to guess that 90% of those haters are NOT bloggers. If you're a business woman or entrepreneur, and your blog is part of enhancing your business or helping with your fucking passive income, then you're probably not a blogger. I think we've lost what the word "blogger" means and have used it to describe anyone who ever writes in a blog. Maybe you own a blog for your business, but that's not the same as being a blogger. I bet at least 9% of my haters will be people who aren't really interested in reading a blog so much as they are interested in participating in some other network. Because blog reading is usually about, well, reading a blog. It's not about clicking through and sharing it somewhere or whatever. Most hardcore readers probably have some fave feeder anyway.

I bet the rest of you, like me, are so fucking tired of all the ways "blogging" has changed and just wanna meet some cool bloggers who give you fun things to read a few times a week. Can we get back to that? Because those were the days, really.


  1. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment! Maybe someone will read this and make some changes to her blog...or maybe not. We'll probably just have to wait it out.

  2. lol, I laughed so hard reading this Fenna! you never fail to put a smile on my face :) he he!! keep keeping it real hun... we need more ppl like you in the world! xx

  3. This is solid advice! I wish I were better about updating my blog. I've been slacking recently because of all the craziness. I've thought about a newsletter for the romance blog, but I think that falls more on the business end (and might work for selling books, info on new releases, etc). But the bottom line is there: be yourself, talk about stuff, and share it with your friends.

  4. I agree for the most part. So many things I read are like "You MUST have a newsletter!" But why? I get it for the business ones I guess, but it's largely annoying.

    The white background thing... I STILL have mixed feelings. I know that's what everyone is doing, but I get distracted so easily... Plus it's easy to add different design elements to (unless you're like me and add absolutely nothing).

    1. Ok, so is my design distracting to you? Because it is the same as everyone out there with the white background and black text...except for some of them who do all white everywhere. It has fewer sidebars than most and no top navbar. But the colors are easier on your eyes. It's actually dark grey on the pink, which lowers the contrast. Is it distracting?

    2. Honestly, I had to go check because I always read mobile in bed, haha. But no, yours is okay. There is enough space between the background and text. He grey definitely makes a difference. I have grey text on mine too.