Saturday, November 21, 2015

A Binding Commitment

Have you ever thought about the commitments in your life? I'm sure under these commitments fall financial responsibilities, your various bills (house payment, care payment, rent, utilities). Maybe you have children, so you think about child support or dentist bills or new shoes for them. You have a job, so you think about going to work every day, making sure you're not late, doing your duties so you continue to have a job. Probably you start to think about a lot of other things that I can't know because I'm not you. But what I'm wondering today is if you think about your interpersonal relationships.

Do you think about your boyfriend, your spouse, your parents, your siblings, maybe even your business partner?

These are the people I'm thinking about today.

I'm wondering when a binding commitment becomes a detrimental commitment and when we should back out of it. But how do we know that's what we should do? When is it time to break up with your spouse or your parents or your siblings or your business partner or even your best friend of a decade? How do we know when it's time to let those relationships change in dramatic ways, or to stop them altogether?

I'm sure you've seen somewhere that quote, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I bet that you've also read about "toxic relationships". I'm talking about the former and not the latter. I'm not talking about relationships that are toxic. Maybe you can have a relationship that is good for you in many ways but has become locked in detrimental patterns that don't allow for continued growth and change. Maybe you keep doing the same things over and over, expecting a different result, without even realizing what you're doing.

This is what I've been thinking about lately. How can we tell when it's time to stop what we're doing, to make changes, and to engage in different behaviors? How do we know when a relationship is preventing us from growing? And maybe that relationship isn't even with a spouse or loved one, maybe that relationship is with a place. Maybe that relationship is with a job.

But how do you know exactly what you need to change and then how do you go about changing it?

These are the questions I'm pondering on this Saturday.

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