Friday, October 27, 2017

Baby Boy III

Dear Baby Boy,

Today is your official TWO MONTH-IVERSARY!!!!

You have been alive for two months now. Which really means I have managed to keep you alive for two months. So probably, I'm the one who deserves a high five right about now.

The good news is that after our initial struggle for the first couple of weeks, I have managed to keep you pretty fucking happy all the time. You are what people would call a "good" baby. (Later in your life, I will teach you why attitudes like that are actually shitty and make people feel bad, but that's for later.) The truth is, you're just an average baby. You eat and you sleep and you poop (really massive, loud poops, right in the middle of eating) and you laugh and you smile and you grunt and you fuss and you cry...and you do it probably less than some babies and probably more than others.

But I digress...

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The bottom line is that you are growing, you are healthy, you are not broken, you have not gotten sick, (you have been scratched by the cat once, though...it was an accident), and you smile and turn and look at me like I'm the best person in the world. That feels really good. (You also do that for your dad and grandma and sometimes for our friends who are holding you...because basically, babies think anyone is the coolest person in the world when they are being snuggled.) You like to look at things, but you're not really into grabbing anything yet. You do love to kick your feet. You have the cutest smile ever, but you also have the cutest frown. (I'm entirely biased on this matter.)

On my end, things have been less easy. Your current physiology requires you to be demanding of my time, and I always seem to be running behind when it's time to wash bottles or take a shower. My physiology has led me to frequent panic attacks and a mean case of depression. It's hard for me to find joy where I usually do, and I wonder if I could find more joy in you if things were different for me. But things are what they are, and there's little I can do to change it. However, you do make me laugh every single day, and that's a really good thing.

I am enjoying seeing you grow, and everything does seem to get easier, incrementally. I look forward to what happens over the course of the next month.

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