Friday, April 27, 2018

Baby Boy X

Dear Baby Boy,

Eight months today!!!

You have become quite an interesting little person. You love to talk, going on and on with all kinda sounds and noises and shouting out your feelings. It's completely hilarious and I look forward to hearing your first word, whatever that might be and whenever that might be. You are pulling up and even cruising! It was a bit rough and we have covered the entire floor in foam. There were a couple of days when you fell over and bumped your head a handful of times and I was completely freaked out by it. But like everything so far, you have totally mastered pulling up and squatting and crawling and you even cruise a bit too.

Your current favorite toy is a small plastic box that I keep puppets in. You take it off the shelf, empty its contents, and proceed to push it around, climb on it, flip it over, swing it around...all sorts of things! You still play with all your other toys, but this one seems to have become the absolute most interesting thing you can get your hands on. You also have a sort of chair that allows you to stand and bounce...we use it for when we're eating dinner, so you don't come trying to take our food! You do love to bounce in it!

You've eaten some solid foods, but not that puree crap they call baby food. It's some ridiculousness and I'm not interested. So I've given you some smashed avocados and smashed bananas...and it's VERY messy and I don't really like it at all. I'm gonna keep giving you solids a couple times per week, but I'm not pressed.

The weather has warmed up so we take many a stroller excursion where you happily suck on your stroller straps the entire time. People come up to you and talk in bullshit high voices, asking you to smile, and I fucking love that you don't smile. You're clearly not a trained monkey, so keep sticking it to them. You do however love when I say in a deep and stern voice, "EXCUSE ME, SIR!" It's HILARIOUS! You've also met a few pupper dogs and just like the cats, they totally delight you.

You've got a couple more teeth buds that have cut through, and that was kinda a mess. Your gums even bled one night! We've also taken you to your first concert, but the applause scared you and made you cry, so we hung out in a room near the show. It was a very pleasant experiment and we hope to go to more concerts at the same venue throughout the summer. Also, you've discovered your genitals and enjoy touching them during diaper've also had your first erection. Even your penis is changing and developing!

Baby Boy, you are growing and changing and exploring and it is so fun to watch! You still make me laugh every day, but I am not so excited about your current desire to totally avoid diaper changes by rolling and pulling away. A few of them have come to tears and that's not cool. We have had to take a few driving naps when you just really, really, really did not want to go to sleep and we got tired of fighting you. But really, your fussiness is such a small part of your life and I still cannot complain. You are an absolute delight and you make everyone who meets you really happy and they go on about how adorable you are. It's true, you are very adorable. I don't know what is next or how fast it'll happen, but I'm loving every moment of watching you change and grow.

Te amo chiquito monstro.


Hey Mama,

Well, things aren't going exactly as you had planned now are they? First the labor and delivery that was super awful, then unsuccessful breastfeeding, and now you're not even running. That marathon you had planned for June is definitely not happening because running or walking is sometimes too difficult when you're so tired. It's ok to let it go.

Let's talk about the annoying shit other people do, like constantly saying "how fast" Babe grows. Maybe it's real fucking fast for them, but it's most definitely not for you. Honestly, it could be because so many people work and you don't, but no matter what the reason, it's just fucking annoying. 'Cause of course, you reply with the truth, and of course, it makes you feel like an awkward asshole. Ugh! Anyway, just keep being truthful.

Also, people really need to get off your back about Babe and, trying to tell you getting him out and around germs is "good" for his immune system. Unless bitches have a degree in immunology or pathology, they don't need to come at you with some other way of doing things. Babe will have plenty of time to get sick when he's not an infant and not in the danger zone for many communicable diseases that so many adults carry unknowingly, so you can just keep doing your thing and protecting that Babe.

I know life is kinda weird right now because a couple of big things are just about to happen. That waiting period is THE WORST. But really, when you think about it, life is pretty fucking good. You have an awesome family and a beautiful Babe and you are doing a great fucking job. Maybe this baby thing didn't go exactly as you had planned, but you have a bright, curious, athletic, super fucking happy baby and that is what really matters. And I know, I know that shit is still tough for you. I know that you are still just barely holding on. But honestly, you're doing a very good job of getting through it and things will get better...maybe not right away...but they will. Keep that faith in yourself girl, 'cause you're gonna make it through.

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